Time and time again I have had customers come in to Missionary To Madame at Caringbah, Sydney and ask how they can improve their sex with their partner who is either in another state or overseas. Long Distance Relationships can be hard and the urges for sexual pleasure are a lot higher considering you are away from each other. Military couples, business couples, couples who met online but are thousands of kilometres apart always come in and ask what they can do to keep the spark alive for them whilst they are apart. It’s not easy but it can be made tolerable with some of the tips I am going to give you below.
Firstly, before sex comes into play, you must have to prioritises date night. What is this guy talking about? We are in a long distance relationship. Yes, I know that. Date night doesn’t have to be when you are physically together. Date night can be the both of you setting a time (doesn’t have to be exact time due to time zones however a time when you are able to align) and having a particular activity that you can both do whilst on zoom or facetime together. By prioritizing this time and doing an activity like you both are together, it will give you a certain level of closeness that will help keep the relationship whole. Watching the same movie on Netflix at the same time, eating pancakes either at a dessert bar or café at the same time or playing a board game. These date nights will allow you to maintain the non-sexual intimacy that helps sexual intimacy thrive.
Secondly, don’t message each other constantly throughout the day. Although this one can be a little controversial because some people need that constant attention. By not texting or calling each other throughout the day, you allow yourself to be really able to debrief your partner whilst you are both present. It gives you both something to look forward to instead of grabbing small sound bites throughout the day when you’re not really present because you’re engaged with work or tasks. Being present during conversations can really improve both relationship strength and communication for the both of you.
Thirdly, and most importantly. Get yourself some good quality sex toys. Better yet, get yourself some app controlled toys that you can both control whilst being apart. As mentioned earlier, physical intimacy during long distance relationships can be super hard. You miss your partner's touch, the smell of their skin, the feel of their hands or the pure sound of their voice. By using app controlled toys, you can feel a little closer by being able to have an impact on their pleasure. Control their vibrations and patterns whilst speaking through the phone and hearing their response to each touch of a button. My favourite toys to recommend for this the Nora and the Max 2 by Lovense. The Nora is an app controlled rabbit vibrator and the Max is an app controlled male masturbator. The great thing about these two toys is that Lovense has allowed them to connect and pair them together. When you insert the Nora, the Max responds by stimulating the penis to the exact length that the Nora is inserted in. Making it completely realistic. Although you’re not together, these toys make it feel as if you are together and you’re both feeling the same simulations, simultaneously. Now if this isn’t what you had in mind or you want to explore other areas of play. Lovense have a whole great range of toys that include G-Spot targeted toys, clitoral vibrators that attach to your underwear and can be worn in public, different variations of male masturbators or app controlled anal plugs. The great thing is that the app gives you so much control and allows for some many different ways to pleasure yourself and your partner whilst being apart.
Although Long Distance Relationships at the best of times can be hard, if you approach them with love, honesty and commitment, you can come out together way stronger than when you first entered. Prioritizing weekly date nights, giving each other space during the day and getting yourselves some app controlled toys for play time will really take some of the pressure that comes with being apart from each other for so long. At times when you are feeling that it is getting a little overwhelming, just remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder and you will both be together again soon!